cont'd...
I will show you how! The answer is not money!
“Freedom is not free” is a statement usually made when discussing our country and the tenants of our republic. Many of our military men and women have made the ultimate sacrifice by dying in service to our country during times of peace and war. The paradigm’s affected by addiction have nothing to do with war or peace in this discussion except in the paradigm of suffering and death due to addiction itself! When the topic is addiction, war and peace can both be “hell on earth!”
A friend has a spouse who is suffering with their addiction and my friend is working the Alanon program. We have had many discussions about the recovery from or suffering with aspects of this disease. Being a very successful addiction professional, now retired, I have written two books and have volunteered in other countries teaching addiction professionals about therapy and treatment in lieu of executing the addict. Some governments are serious about this problem. America is not there yet! (Thank God!)
My friends program teaches them to not control the addicts behavior as they have no influence over their abstinence or active addiction. I understand the premise as their program is about their sanity and survival regardless of the survival of the addict or alcoholic. I get that!
The “touchey feeley aspect of their program? I get that too! My premise is that no death is acceptable on my watch if I can do something about it! Some addicts will die regardless of the “S.O.s” (significant others) behaviors or actions. Being recovering now for over 20 years personally and having treated many thousands of addicts, (some of which did die, several as a matter of fact!) my feelings and observations are tainted with the knowledge of feeling that I did everything in my power to forestall the inevitable in my attempt to prevent it totally!
The difference is I live with no guilt for their death knowing I did everything I could! When your program teaches you to” let go and let God!” I get that also! But what if God is busy with many thousands of other addicts hell bent for early death, maybe like yours? Being engaged in an active treatment and therapy program with people standing by to assist you with your suffering is invaluable also! That is what this blog is about. Free alcohol and drug therapy which is scaleable. What are your needs? Problems? Conflicts? Challenges? Solutions? Thoughts? Yes dear readers I do care! Why? Because someone did it for me, that is why!
Read this blog and comment! As often as possible I will monitor, contribute, revise or suggest things, actions or thoughts which the reader is free to accept or reject at will. Free will! That is what got us in the mess we are in if we are a practicing addict regardless of the chemical! This blog is solution oriented! Professionals and academics alike are free to post here.
DISCLAIMER
You are free to accept or reject the suggestions or comments made here. I will be referring to the steps and traditions of alcoholics anonymous as well as living principles that can be found in the King James Bible. (Reject those at your own risk!J)
ATTRIBUTION DISCLAIMER
The twelve steps are reprinted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. (A.A.W.S.) Permission to reprint the Twelve Steps does not mean that A.A.W.S. has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, or that A.A.W.S. necessarily agrees with the views expressed herein. A.A. is a program of recovery from alcoholism only. Use of the twelve steps in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after AA, but which address other problems, or in any other non AA context, does not imply otherwise.
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"Denny, a friend I met here blogging, has comments to share on my blog at his blog http://acureforaddiction.blogstream.com/ (The link is on Blog's I like on this page on the right side below). I will be watching as he develops his thoughts. Denny offers an alternative approach to that offered in Al-Anon. He keeps me on my toes with his observations and comments. He has a good heart. Check out his blog."
Keep up the good conversation, Denny. Thank you for caring!
Different strokes for different folks. Some programs, be it AA, Al-Anon, or something else, work for some and not for others. Whether it does or it doesn't has everything to do with the intensity of the addicts problem, how vested the participant is in the program and working toward their recovery, and most of all if they sought the help at their own will (opposed to an intervention type of scenario).
The humanitarian in me says to help others. What kind of world would this be if we all walked away from those that have addiction or other problems? If we all did that, we'd leave them in the company of the very people they shouldn't be spending time with -- other addicts!
But, as loved ones of an alcoholic, we can only do our part. The fact is that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. It's when we find ourselves involved with someone like that that we over-extend ourselves to the point that it becomes detrimental to our own well-being. It's when we reach that point, that it becomes critical to our own survival to let go and let God. Does that mean that we no longer care for the person? No. Does that mean that we don't run their dumb-ass to the hospital when they O.D.? No.
Let go and let God is just us facing the fact that we are powerless over the alcoholic! We can show them the way, but we can't cure them. That's work that only the alcoholic and God can do.
The nonaddict in a relationship gives away far too much for far too little at times! Receovery is a "see the light, feel the heat?" kind of product. To accept the adage "You can't help some one who does'nt want help!" Is not true in every situation, rarely true in my experience of treating many thousands of addicts successfully over my 20+ years in a successful private practice.
The principle is,"To get more expect more and give less" It is truly life and death but it is their choice! Good Health and Be Blessed! Mr. Denny Goodpenny